Michelle Rodriguez admits she's "jealous" Paul Walker left first as she opens up about her friend's tragic death



The actress opens up about her good friend's passing

Michelle Rodriguez has opened up about the pain she experienced following her good friend Paul Walker's tragic death.
The Furious 7 star struggled to cope with the loss of her co-star - who died in November 2013 from injuries sustained in a car crash - and admits she almost felt "jealous" that he had gone first.
Speaking in a clip for documentary The Reality of Truth, she said: "I have to say, you know, when I lost Paul, I went through about a year of just being an animal. Like, what could I do, physically, to just get my mind off of existentialism?


FilmMagicActress Michelle Rodriguez
Lady in red: Michelle pictured at the start of the year

"Get my mind off of how transient life is and how we come here and can just disappear at any moment. How could I get my mind off that?
"I did everything I could possibly do to hide from myself and I'll tell you that my Ayahuasca trip made me sad that he left me here. It wasn't a sadness that he's gone, it's more like a jealousy that he's there first."


WENNFast and the Furious 7
Filming of the last scenes for 'Fast and the Furious 7'

Meanwhile, the 37-year-old actress previously admitted she struggled to feel "alive" herself as she dealt with her tragic loss.
She explained: "I actually went on a bit of a binge. I went crazy a little bit …. I went pretty crazy. A lot of the stuff I did last year I would never do had I been in my right mind.
"I felt like nothing I could do could make me feel alive, so I just kept pushing myself harder and harder. I was travelling and I was having sex. And I was just trying to ignore everything that I was feeling."

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